Long Time No Share Lots of Personal Information on the Internet..

The dogs are walked.

Augie is fascinated by his Baby Einstein movie in his bouncy seat.

Haddie is still at her Daddy's house. 

Who knew that having a 4 year old out of daycare could be so exhausting? 

If any mom's want to set up a play date before we leave... I will fall over trying to get there.

Laundry is started and folded.

Dishes are done. 

Hopefully now I can sit down and catch everybody up.

Some information I have learned recently:

*Do not Use Quicken Loans as a mortgage lender

*No matter how much you prepare for something, 

educate yourself and organize your life, home 

purchases have too many variables, they will never

be simple.

*I have an incredibly high tolerance for stress.

No nervous breakdown as of yet.

When we first called Quicken Loans the day we made an offer on our home, Nigel Levy (yes I'm calling him out. I don't like the man much) told us that Andy's alimony would not be counted against him when buying the home because he and his ex-wife had agreed to end it as soon as she moved in with her fiancé (co-habitation=no alimony), which would be 2-3 months. No big deal. 

We made an offer. We paid the earnest money deposit. We asked for a VA inspection as soon as possible because we wanted to know that everything was going to be fine with the home. We got it. We paid $400. The inspection came back great. Three simple fixes... windows had to be scraped and painted, some power washing, and the door to the crawl space had to be replaced...

No more than $1000 worth of work if the seller paid someone to do everything. We are perfectly willing to accept a counter offer for slightly more to compensate for that. The appraisal came back at 58k which means if we purchased the home we would have 8k in equity to make aesthetic changes. 

We got the email back around 9pm, Monday. I cried I was so happy.

Andy put in his two weeks last Friday. He accepted a job in Greensboro making what he's making now but he will be driving 2 hours less per day for his commute. I am so excited to establish something tighter with his boys. Everything was going so good. 

The underwriters for Quicken called us 2 days ago. The home that Andy's name is still on is going into foreclosure and they wanted to know what he had to say about it. He had a divorce decree that relieved him of all responsibility. In that divorce decree, was an alimony statement. They told us that we have to have legal proof of the ending of alimony by closing for them to give us the house. 

I feel.... cheated. We have been nothing but honest about our financial situation with these people. We made life decisions based on their word. We're uprooting our family September 21st and moving in with Andy's parents with Haddie and Augie until we can straighten this whole mess out. 

Two adults+Two elderly adults+Two kids under 5+2 dogs+2 dogs= Oh. MY. God.

His parents are being insanely cool about it. 

We got our U-haul from Colonial Heights,VA for $305 for the initial rental. .40/mile over 261 miles which is what it takes to get from Colonial Heights to High Point. With a 20 foot truck rental, we were given a 10 x15ft storage unit for free. After the first month it will be 100/month which means we will be looking for something to rent in Greensboro as a back up. We found a 3 br town house for more than twice what we would be paying for the mortgage at Denny St. 

I'm heartbroken. 

I'm overwhelmed. 

I'm confused. 

I'm tired. Augie got up at 4 am. 

What on earth do you do when you put all of your eggs in one basket and some douche bag decides to come step on them? Make some french toast and pray they haven't stepped in dog poop recently.

Speaking of dog poop. I promised a blog about Buttercup's health issues and what I've been doing to combat them until we can get her to a vet.. I'll have to do that tomorrow. 

We have a date to talk to the Underwriter from Quicken today. He offered us an FHA loan with more down at closing but we've been budgeting for the VA so we're unsure that we can afford it. Andy is going to make it a three-way call and if he decides to be nice about things, I have plans to give the man a piece of my mind. If Evil Underwriter is unwilling to discuss it, I will file a formal complaint with the company. 

I have a big mouth, but I'm usually all bark and no bite. Not in this case. We have made promises to sellers. To back out because we can't get the financing gives others cause to question our integrity.

 I do not appreciate that in the least. 

I'll keep you posted.

Let's Catch You All Up...

(I started this blog the other night, due to obvious reasons, I got tired and went to bed before it's completion..  Finishing it out today)
I'm sitting on my couch with a glass of Jack Daniels and Pepsi on the end table next to me. Before you stage an intervention, this is not a regular occurrence. Obviously, because one glass had me explaining Peter and the Wolf (Sergei Prokofiev version) to Andy while he kindly acknowledged me occasionally glancing over his laptop with a smile.

Alcohol is not the answer to any problem. Unfortunately, after a bubble bath, meditation and some yoga I simply can't get the muscles in my back to relax from how tense they have been over the last few days. I know, it's time to go see a chiropractor but for tonight.. cheers. 

The last few days have been a nightmare. They shouldn't have been. Motivated and incredibly flexible seller, fantastically resourceful realtor, available finances, what could go wrong? 

We'll start with Wednesday. We received our purchase agreement from Maureen via Dotloop that evening. Andy "Eeyore'd" his way through it,  e-signing/initialing at all of the required spots, sans expression or excitement. All of the sudden he exclaimed, "September 19th!!!" The realtor had scheduled the closing for September 19th, a month away. This had us scrambling most of that evening to pull the rest of the needed material together and begin planning our move. After a quick discussion with our Quicken Loans Lender, Nigel,we found out our monthly mortgage payment will be a mere $350 with escrow included at an interest rate of 4.5% and all we would have to bring to the table on the day of closing was $400 (A total closing cost of $1200 that includes the $400 appraisal fee and an Earnest Money Deposit of $500). We went to bed Wednesday night, excited and nervous.

Thursday morning I began Pinteresting. I decided that Antonio Gaudi would be my inspiration. 

Hellooooo Highpoint! Talk about increased appraisal value. I should call This Old House and see what they can do for me.

    On the way home that night, Andy spoke to Nigel who, out of no where asked, "Hey wait, are you guys relocating?" What? Of course we are. Where have you been all this time? Andy, with his fantastic deep voice and North Carolina accent slowly answered, "Yes..."Of course Nigel replied, "Well... that's going to be a problem."The VA requires the homebuyer to provide at least one pay stub from the job they are relocating to, unlike an FHA which simply requires a letter of intent stating the compensation   that has been offered and the date of hire.

How on earth are we going to do that before September 19th? We aren't. We will have to live there for approximately a month before Andy gets a pay stub. So the next 24 hours consisted of Andy and I pulling something out of our rear ends. On Friday afternoon, after a day filled with anxiety, we got the email that the seller has agreed to allow us to rent the home for a month and close in mid-October. Andy will be putting in his two weeks notice after Labor Day and we'll be giving our land lords notice when we turn in rent this month. We should be moving into the house September 20th. *commence lamaze breathing.. now*

My daughter, Haddie (4) was previously enrolled in Surry County's Pre-K program. Now that's going to be changing a bit. Guilford County has already closed their Pre-K registration for a year but they do have a program called Guilford Children that allows me to find a reputable daycare/Pre-K combo for free within the county. Pre-K isn't like Kindergarten, the county has a limited number of spaces and uses assessments to give the places to children they feel are in need of a Kindergarten prep-program. Haddie already knows her ABC's, can write her name and can count rather high. Although I'm not stressed about her ability to assimilate into Kindergarten efficiently, I would like her to have some friends in the area. That's why I decided to enroll her in Guilford Children.

As someone who enjoys consistency and planning, this move may be a bit difficult on Haddie but I'm trying my best to explain it to her. I've been looking for books about moving and Amazon has a pretty decent selection. She has seen pictures of the new house and has expressed excitement about being closer to her step-brothers. I think the biggest thing she's going to miss is her Daddy. We were given a dog recently who has latched herself onto Haddie and I think this will help. She has already shown signs of disciplinary improvement just by having that little friend to take everywhere and love on. I'll write about the dog on another day. Too much to put on here.

We'll be commuting back and forth a few times until the school semester is over, fortunately most of our classes are online.  My grandma was telling me that although she was happy that I was going to be able to experience new places, she thinks that I'm going to miss Surry and realize quickly what I'm missing when I leave. I'll miss that sigh of relief that I exhale every time cross the Surry town limits. Despite it's many flaws, this has always been home but I think it's time for us to establish our own family now. I'm looking forward to disproving the statistics one reads about divorced families by establishing a stable and loving home. I can't wait for Andy to be able to work 40 hours a week and still be able to pay bills on time. I can't wait to wake up at my usual 6-6:30am with Andy still laying beside me. Yeah, I'm going to miss the safety of Surry, but what is safety in comparison to a life filled with stability, substance and vivacity?

You can tell what I wrote today.. and what I wrote Friday night ;) but I suppose it's apparent that the muscles in my back have began to loosen. If anyone feels like helping us pack... You are welcome but don't be surprised if I'm a bit of a nut case. 

So You Want to Get a VA Loan?

When I realized that Andy had applied for a VA loan instead of a regular mortgage I reacted instantly by researching VA standards on HUD. I wanted to make sure our cute (but older) home wasn't going to cause us an immense amount of grief. Also, I spoke to our realtor and asked her to make an addendum to our offer. We would be willing to consider a counter offer including the cost of mandatory repairs within reason. The seller accepted our offer essentially pending VA inspection.

 So what's the deal with a VA Loan?

First you have to be a veteran.

Sorry folks. No military time, no military benefits. 

VA Loans are a favorite of most banks because they are 100% insured by the government. If the home owner doesn't pay, the government will cover the loss. When you call your lender to get pre-qualified for a mortgage, one of the first questions they will ask is, "Are you a veteran?"

VA loans were designed to allow veterans or their spouses (if not remarried) access to home ownership with or without a down payment and in most cases, where private financing was not available. For example, traditional Fannie Mae loans allow the home owner to purchase a home where the monthly payment would be approximately 28% of the gross monthly income whereas these loans allow 41%. Also VA financing often offers lower interest rates and other benefits such as $6000 for energy efficient improvement.

These loans have standards. Regular mortgages are granted based on overall appraisal value but the home purchased via the VA must meet certain standards not only to protect the VA's investment but also to protect veterans. Honesty is undervalued in real estate. 

After choosing a home, being approved for a mortgage and making an accepted offer, the homeowner must pay approximately $400 for an appraisal by a certified VA Inspector.   

If you're wanting to purchase a home using VA financing, making sure that it meets their standards can make or break your purchase. You may end up losing your dream home because the seller isn't interested in fixing the problems. Always have a back up plan. 

So what are they looking for? This is my HUD VA Appraisal Overview.. paraphrased:

Zoning: Residential only. When searching for a home, some offices will be on websites such as realtor.com. These are not zoned residential. Many time this will be stated on the overview but you must make sure before proceeding with VA financing.

Access: Must have safe and private access to the home. Driveway etc. 

Adequate Space: The home has to have enough space and a REAL kitchen, bathroom, living and sleeping space. This sounds silly but... I think I feel a story coming on..... 

A few years ago, prior to my having children, some friends and I decided to move into the back of a store front and start our own non-profit Internet Cafe in our town to be actively involved in meeting local needs. It was called The Center. We lived in storage rooms and created a make-shift home in order to see our dreams be established. We shared our bathrooms with the public. We took showers at our church. We lived our lives on a stage with a town of approximately 8000 people able to see though the large glass windows. 

This is an example of NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Idyllic? Sure. Practical? Noway. 

Water: Must have domestic hot water aka a water hose doesn't count. Must have safe method of sewage disposal (no chamber pots) and a continuous safe supply of water for drinking etc. They also prefer that you not have a well. They would rather the property be connected to a public system to ensure standards are regulated. 

Heating:  "Must be adequate for healthful and comfortable living conditions" If you have a wood burning stove, there has to be other means of heating your home to maintain a minimum temperature of 50 degrees Fahrenheit. Solar panels? HUD has regulations for that. Basically? You have to have a back up plan so your kids don't lose toes.

Electrical/Plumbling: No fire hazards. Everything must be useable and have some life left to them. There will be no getting VA approval if everything in your 1940's built home is original issue... if it even works.

Roof: No leaks. Also... something that surprised me was, they want it to be economical to maintain.

Consumer reports did an article on the best roofing options. Good stuff.

If the roof has to be replaced and there are three or more layers of shingles, the seller has to remove all of the old shingles first. 

Crawl Space/Ventilation/ Drainage: There has to be access that doesn't have any debris it has to be properly vented. The floor joists have to be high enough to provide enough room for someone to work on it if need be. The inspector will look for ponds of water under the house or excessive dampness. If he finds any, the seller has to fix it before the purchase can commence.  Gradation of the property and natural ventilation in both the attic and the crawlspace/ basement must be adequate enough to prevent excess moisture buildup aka mold and overall damage to the structural quality of the home.  Here are some examples of what to look for:

Mold damage

Puddles

Sagging floor joists

No No's: Termites, defective construction, poor workmanship, evidence of continuing settlement, leaks, puddles where puddles should not be and overall decay. Nothing hazardous to health of the buyer or to the structural soundness of the overall dwelling (MOLD)

And the biggie in most older homes... 

Lead Based Paint: Has to be tested to insure that the levels of lead aren't above those permitted by law. No chipping, cracking or overall defective properties. If this exists... the seller will HAVE to get it removed through an extensive process which can be a pain in the butt. 

We don't think any of these things will be an issue in our new home. (Whew!!) If they were, I'm not sure we'd want the home anyway. Some minor electrical issues, or small scale leaks are easily and affordably fixed. Structural damage and overall poor construction isn't.

 It may seem like a hassle, but if you're eligible for VA Financing and the home you're wanting to purchase meets the requirements or close enough, give it a try. It can almost take the place of a home inspector if you're willing to take the risk. 

When buying using a Fannie Mae mortgage, this is NOT the case. Get a home inspector. Do not forgo this. You will regret it. A lot of structural damage isn't visible to the untrained eye. Even your realtor misses things. Do not buy your home and subject your family to the misery of an inadequate housing situation. 

So what now? Well.. paperwork. We'll have a closing date soon.  I'll keep you posted :)

The Good the Bad and the.... What in the Heck?

Looked at a few houses today and decided to make an offer.

Before I tell you about the one we chose, I have to tell you about the ones we didn't.... because where's the fun in getting the good stuff first? 

So we saw the two homes in High Point. The first I already showed you, the second.... looked like this:

  

Check out that wallpaper. Circa 1950

Cute right?? It's a foreclosure. 70k downtown High Point... Cute neighborhood. Then we saw this:

That's right folks. It says DO NOT ENTER. Talk about a selling deterrent.  At 70k we felt that with the work that was going to be needed, it wasn't a good investment. If we had about 50k extra, it would have been great. 

Our realtor is from Winston. She is GREAT. Viola player for the Greensboro symphony. Totally eclectic. Totally cute. If you like suits... Maureen Michels is not for you. I like genuine people that are a little bit messy.. and she's perfect. A artsy dreamer with a realistic side. I think those make the best realtors. If you're moving to the Winston area shoot her an email at mmichels77@gmail.com or call her at 336-577-9245. 

Maureen knows the Winston area well and drove us around showing us home in some more "up and coming" neighborhoods. This usually means, semi ghetto with low crime. A few other homes in the area have usually been purchased by upper middle class families with vision. One home was in progress. A man was remodeling it with the intention of eventually selling. 70k with 3 bedrooms, adorable crown moulding.... but it's not finished yet. Sad face.

Finally Sink Street. A home we found on Realtor.com  4 bedrooms. 1 bath upstairs, one in the basement. The basement had a large workshop, a laundry room and bath with shower as well as what could be turned into a small loft-style apartment. 

  

(Left to right: "Apartment space" Bathroom and Laundry Room)

The bedrooms were huge and storage was everywhere. Complete with real wood paneling, the "den" had a build in desk and gas logs. Built in's everywhere. Andy.. was in love. 

Best part? The basement. Worst part? The neighborhood. Section 8 housing two homes down and across the street. The home directly across the street was currently housing approximately 10 people. Essentially? Sketchy-town. 

So? What did we decide? 

We saw 507 Derry St.  this morning at 9am. It was love at first analysis. 

Three bedrooms technically. There is a possibility for a fourth. Built in 1910. 

                        

(Left to Right: Upstairs bath with access to very large attic space, Upstairs BR, Massive Laundry Room)

(Left to Right: Fenced in backyard w/shed, Large kitchen--all that you see with that ugly floor is kitchen. It's much deeper than it looks, Staircase <3)

(Left to Right: Cary.. praying we buy the house... in the Living Room complete with built in and double sided fireplace, Dining room aka the other side of the double sided fireplace. Also with built-in. Can you say double sided gas logs?)

A bit of a story is tied to this house. We called John McCormick (Seller's Realtor- Great guy- See link for contact info if you'd like it) last week with the intention of seeing the home. He told the seller but there was a tenant inside and we couldn't get more images until Friday. John called me Thursday confirming an appointment for this morning and made mention that there had already been an offer. The seller is an investor with the desire for a family to purchase the home, not another investor. Because we had scheduled an appointment, the seller decided to hold off on accepting any offers until after we had seen it. That immediately gave me some serious respect for the man. 

It worked in his favor. We decided not to lowball him. The house is in great condition. HVAC is seven years old and the roof is two years old. Electrical work is up code. New plumbing. Bathrooms have been totally redone. 

Listing price is 49,900. We offered 49k and asked that he pay half of closing costs. 

His realtor believes that he will accept so essentially, we're waiting on the VA inspectors to tell us they will give us a loan for the house. We made a note that if the repairs required by the VA weren't too substantial, we would consider a counter offer that considered the cost of the repairs.

Ok. Now it's time for a nap.

Coming Soon... A Day of Searches

Andy and I stayed up until 2 am... We're meeting the realtor at 9 for a day of house searching. 

I do not feel very smart. As a matter of fact I feel as if my eyeballs may be severing themselves from within my eye sockets. No biggie. 

Wish us luck. 6 houses. 2 in High Point and the rest in Winston. Augie is staying with Andy's parents. 

I received a few images via text messages from the sellers realtor at 507 Denny St. in High Point. 

Yes ladies and gents. In the photo above that is in fact HVAC. At a move in ready whopping 42k it's the first home on the agenda. 

More to follow.

Have a great Saturday everyone. 

Mommy's New to Town

Andy is working over time this weekend so I'm drinking my Earl Grey, and listening to Elmo's sing along entertain my two kids while I get used to being awake. Our next door neighbors Jason and Della came over last night and I had one too many glasses of wine while we played Ticket to Ride after the kids went to bed. Caffeine please.

I was thinking this morning about a conversation I had a while back with someone who said that when he and his wife moved to a Virginia, she had the hardest time assimilating and meeting new people. Many folks meet people at the gym. Although I like Yoga, I'm not really a 'gym person'.

Not me. At all... although her legs are great! *takes another bite of 2000 calorie bagel*

Many NAVY wives who move a lot have resources for this but since we all can't be NAVY wives (You guys are so awesome), sites like Meetup.com exist. 

Knowing that I'd be moving to the area in the next few months, I joined the site and met a group of mom's with kids Augie's age. We recently went on a nice stroller walk and talk. You're not going to "click" with everyone you meet but at least you're getting out there. Editor and publisher of Hip Mama, Ariel Gore said, "I've never been socially outgoing, but I suspect I've gotten more and more ambivalent about making new friends. I'm irritated by how-do-you-do chit-chat but that's how new relationships usually begin." Some have a hard time with the chit-chat. I tend to get too personal too quick. "So how was your relationship with your father?" Don't judge me.


When you're looking at perspective homes, a good site to check out is Great Schools. If you do research, everyone says that hands on homeschooling is the best option. Not all of us are quite there yet.  Some of us work full time and me? Well... I wish I had that ability. I would probably even consider it if my kids weren't social butterflies like me. Haddie's learning style specifically is more attuned to a school setting. Augie might do ok. I have a few years to decide. So for those of us who send our kids to public school, you have resources! If you have a specific school in mind, you can type in the name of the school and see reviews from parents who currently or have recently had children enrolled. If you're new to the area like myself, typing in the zip code and widening the radius a bit helped. I was able to see reading and math testing scores and my favorite part is that the ratings are based on the opinions of other parents.

When we were considering the Winston Salem area as an option I typed in "Winston Salem Mom's" into my google search and came up with a list of websites specifically for mom's in the area. There are similar resources in the Southside, Peninsula, and the Tri-Cities area (Richmond). A specific site I found incredibly helpful for our move to the Triad (WS, Greensboro, High Point) was Triad Mom's on Main. It has a myriad of resources at one's disposal. If you're interested in the area I suggest checking it out.

Bottom line? If you're moving to a new area, you don't have to rely on fate to bring you friendly neighbors and decent co-workers. As a post-partum sufferer myself, I know it's tempting but don't just sit around at home and be lonely. You have options.

The kids and our friend Mary at Jamestown Settlement in Williamsburg, Va. Kept the kids entertained for quite a while. *Two thumbs  up*