Victories and Activism

Bet you thought it was going to be another one about my dog, didn't ya?

Well, that's coming soon and it will include my Petsmart grooming analysis and natural treatments for doggie issues. Until then, I have decided to get a little bit personal. 

I'm writing this post because I believe it is healthy for humans to share their struggles with others. It is important for everyone to know that bad things happen and there is hope.

For those of you who spend time with me frequently, you probably know most of this.

Some may say it isn't relevant, but it has a huge impact on our family, whether the kids know it or not. 

I'm pretty sure folks from my grandparents generation would say that it is improper to discuss your psychological issues with the public. Fortunately I don't see this as an issue, I see it as an accomplishment. 

I have been seeing a therapist for 6 months to treat PTSD due to an incident that happened March 19, 2012. The treatment has been predominantly for nightmares. Today was my last official session and I'm rather proud of myself. 

Since the beginning of my journey with this, I have become rather outspoken about my support for psychological treatment. I am a firm believer that an immense number of people are in need of an educated, objective opinion to aid them in lightening their burdens. Specifically in the United States. Any old opinion will not do. I have gotten a number of those in the last year and a half and not a single one of them helped me. Unconditional and intense love from a small group of individuals kept me from becoming a statistic and Dr. Deaver took it from there. 

Before I get responses like, "Jesus...(insert cliche here)" one must understand that from my point of view, God gave humanity wisdom to be his "hands and feet". Although miracles have been known to happen, the likelihood of Jesus showing up in my bedroom is slim to none. I personally believe that God put Dr. David Deaver in my life at just the right moment. 

With a Masters from John's Hopkins and his Bachelors and Doctorate from Boston University, this guy is one smart cookie. His wife is currently the President of the American Art Therapy Association and is one of the most active researchers in the United States on the topic. 

My treatment went a little something like this:

First an antidepressant was suggested due to some minor post partum depression. He felt that it would be good for me to be motivated to get moving and focus less on my instability. From the beginning, he was asking me to try an ADHD medication for ADHD Inactive (Formerly called ADD). I resisted for quite some time because in my family, this was the overall opinion on the matter:

I was convinced that I did not actually have ADHD, that I simply lacked self discipline. Fortunately, Dr. Deaver made me talk about my education, how I read and my ability to study. Slowly the pieces came together. I agree that ADHD is over diagnosed and can see where the above treatment could be effective a few cases but I don't agree that it is nonexistent. After trying my medication for a few weeks, I began to see that the average person does not think like I do. The average person is capable of reading a book without skipping paragraphs at a time. They can also watch an entire movie without having to get up 6 times. They can tell a story and actually get to the point. I started taking Adderall twice a day and along with the inactivity, it seems to positively effect my anxiety. For a while, I was unable to stop my brain from overloading every few days. This helps me to deal with information and process it as it comes. 

One of the things I appreciate about Dr. Deaver is that in addition to chemically treating the body, he also uses forms of meditation, relaxation therapy and newer treatments I had never heard of. When he suggested that we try EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing,  I could only nod and smile. Since many of you will not click the link, I will give you a short run down. The body processes threatening information generally through periods of rapid eye movement or REM (REM cycle). EMDR simulates REM, enabling the reprocessing of traumatic information. We have been working for about 3 months now and imagery that used to send me into a panic, now has little or no effect on my overall well being.

I can imagine some saying I'm doing this for attention, honestly this blog is just another form of stress relief. I've been considering doing something like this for a while and today, when Dr. Deaver said he felt that I had progressed far enough to stop treatment, I thought maybe sharing all of this was more appropriate. I feel like a weight has been lifted. 

Donald Miller said, "We will never feel loved until we have no pretenses, until we are fully able to be ourselves and until then, we can only feel love in percentages.... So that's the world I'm trying to live in. I act less than before and get a little less applause but feel slightly more loved... Applause is a quick fix. Love is an acquired taste."

I want to feel love in its entirety and I know percentages aren't enough for anyone.

I'm not looking for applause, simply sharing my joyous reality with kind and loving individuals so that they can celebrate with me. 

In the last few months I have become an activist for hope and encouragement.
The overall lack respect for the individual is difficult for me to witness.

The Triad has multiple homeless shelters, food banks, soup kitchens and other places that anyone can share hope or just a smile. I'm looking forward to having opportunities near by to share the unconditional love I received that I didn't deserve.

So someone have a glass of Pepsi for me in celebration. I can't have caffeine (^_^)

Addendum: 

Andy- You are my rock. Your patience, love and understanding have made me what I am today. I love you.