Christmas Time Is Here!!
Anymore, Christmas has seemed like just another day to me.
A day full of expectations. Exhausting expectations.
Thankfully, it has proven itself worthy once again.
We had to wait until 8:30 to get the boys last night.
I couldn't wait. I had the hot chocolate ready when they got here.
The stockings were ready, presents wrapped and Augie had been kept from destroying the tree.
I was really on my game this year.
Preface: Cole has been asking me for mechanical pencils for months now. I had purchased some for myself for my math class in college and he had already been given a few, but I thought it would be cool to get him his own for his stocking.
The boys opened their stockings first, sorta, and when Cole pulled out his mechanical pencils he gasped, looked directly at me with the cutest smile on his face and got up to give me a hug.
I think that might have been the best gift I got this year. That, and when Cary was getting out of the van today, he said, "Bye Sarah, I love you."
We gave the kids Kindle Fire's this year, which, of course, were a hit. The amount of silence in our home last night had Andy and I questioning if we had done the right thing. Thankfully a majority of the apps are educational??
Today, as we spent time that family that isn't blood related to me, I realized that I was breathing sighs of relief that I haven't had in a while. I'm beginning to belong. I love the hugs that Andy's niece, Emma gives me. They're so genuine and full of acceptance. Andy's brother sent us home with a bunch of grass fed beef, and a bottle of his moonshine.
The hardest part of the day was leaving and dropping the boys off with their mom. It's so quiet without Haddie here that Andy and I didn't know quite what to do with ourselves this afternoon.
It's almost lonely. Blended/broken families are painful things but they're also beautiful and in my opinion somewhat magical. A group of individuals brought together through painful circumstances understands one another in ways that no one else can. We are so blessed.
It is my wish that 2014 will bring love, hope, forgiveness, joy, peace, and understanding.
Sometimes this blog can be an outlet for my self pity and frustrations and when I read back over the things I write, sometimes I feel like an idiot
but....
I appreciate the support I have received for my writing, verbally, not just on Facebook.
I never knew this could be part of who I am.
This past year has taught me that being concerned with your own needs is over rated.
Learning to be happy with what you have and where you are is the key to success
and I am so very blessed.
Happy Holidays my sweet friends, and a Happy New Year!!!
xoxo Sarah
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