Some may call me naive, but I believe in the innate or natural goodness of humanity. Many Eastern philosophers believe similarly. That we are born perfect and whole (spiritually speaking... one's soul/heart/inner self) but evil, pain, dysfunction and jealousy slowly chip away at our being. There was a song that we sang when I attended church that had the lines..."Sweetly broken, wholly surrendered." and for a very long time I understood "Broken" to mean something similar to that of a horse that you train. That God was trying to break me into submission, make me wholly dependent, like some insecure parent trying to hold onto their strong child. I don't think that's what it means though.
I was reading a bit of Confucius this morning. Don't we all? I know some of you would probably say, yes and others would ask who the heck he was. ha. Anyway... I came across a quote where he says,
"Hold onto it and it will remain. Let go of it and it will disappear. One never knows the time it comes or goes, neither does one know the duration."
We have a choice when bad things happen.
We can choose to hold onto ourselves, or let them go to float away with the pain.
I have met individuals since I have moved to North Carolina who are what I would call "beautifully broken". They have lived through hell, and sure... we dysfunctional black sheep all bear scars, but these women have chosen to hold onto their humanity, and their hearts have expanded. Beautifully broken hearts.
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The other day I said something for the first time that I genuinely meant, "I hate humans." That honestly took me aback. I've never been that way. I don't WANT to be that way.
I've decided to take every chance to see the beauty in humanity. When I listen to a girl talk about her regrets or negative choices, a flood of warmth fills my heart, almost an ache. Empathy maybe? I feel like my heart is saying, "Been there done that signed my t-shirt a few years back... I'm sorry you've been hurt.."
I'm sorry your heart has been adulterated.
I think that this innately good mindset gives us a love and respect for our fellow humans. We're not asking them to constantly critique themselves in an attempt to make them more into our own standard of perfection. Instead, we understand that bad things have happened to all of us and we do our best to address the holes that life has made.
I challenge to think of the person that you avoid.
The person who's company feels like a cheese grater against your soul.
The one you gossip, or rant about with your friends.
Now, think of them as innately good.
Or that their hearts and intentions are not controlled by a drive to hurt you.
What things have happened to them to break them?
Maybe you could name three things that you could appreciate about them.
Next time you see them, put yourself in this same mindset and I guarantee you,
the cheese grater won't feel quite so much like the Hulk is using it.
DISCLAIMER:
I have to warn you.
This slowly removes the sandbags that you have placed around your heart. Some broken individuals haven't been able to hold the shattered pieces of their soul together. These pieces come flying out like daggers when someone gets too close. These individuals are the most in need of your understanding and kindness. You don't have to set yourself up for pain, but sometimes you can't avoid it. Jesus said to, "Turn the other cheek.." Christian or not, that concept keeps you whole. Be kind anyway. Bitterness only eats you alive.
If you're going through a rough period in your life, just remember that there is a strength and a beauty that comes from pain if you let it. Hold onto your humanity.
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